I was 3, maybe 4, when my mom and I came home from somewhere — probably a fabric store (My admittedly selective memory places me in a fabric store with my mom for about 72% of my formative years.) The bathroom door at the top of the stairs slammed shut in perfect time with my mom opening the front door. Half a beat later my mom cried, "Daaaaave! Did you shave your beard?!" That was the first and only time I've seen my dad sans facial fur.
My beard is partly a celebration of my favorite season, autumn, but mostly it is so I can have a mustache for Halloween. While scary is Halloween's calling card, I settle comfortably into creepy. My hypothesis is that the quickest way to creepy is to shave your beard down to a mustache. Below is my Halloween experiment (I call it: 1980s Disney Dad) that supports this hypothesis, and also supports my mother's position that my dad allow the razor to continue catching dust.
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What, no pics of your dad's majestic chin-mane? I mean, you as a creepy Disney Dad is nice and, well, creepy, but you painted such a picture of your dad's unstoppable, identity-generating beard that I was crossing my fingers for an image.
ReplyDeleteMight want to get permission first, though, I guess.
that is really creepy. and you really do look like an 80's disney dad. the feathered hair is wonderful. you know, i have never seen dad w/o his beard. you know the guy who does the oxi-clean commercials? he has really dark hair & always wears a blue shirt? i truly believe he has the perfect beard. look for it.
ReplyDeletejill
You definitely nailed creepy to the wall! However, I do consider the hair to be false bad advertising.
ReplyDeleteMy dad is also a beard-o-phile. The man has to special-order bicycle helmets, his head is so big and round, but he maintains that facial hair is "slimming." I think that when you grow up with scratchy kisses, beards will always have a special place in your heart.
--Caroline